Dani Mathers, Britt McHenry To Get Reality Show On “Bravo”

Dani Mathers and Britt McHenry

Dani Mathers and Britt McHenry team up to tell men and women what’s wrong with them, visually. Coming soon to Bravo, the network that used to show operas.

New York—You can’t keep a Playmate of the Year down for long. Just weeks after being forced to delete all of her social media accounts after posting a photo of an older, unattractive woman taken without the woman’s consent inside her gym locker room, Dani Mathers has been given her own reality show alongside ESPN sideline reporter Britt McHenry. The two women will host a show called, “Shame to Fame” where they will “use their unique and undeniable talents to turn uggos, fatsos and terribly unattractive human beings into good looking men and women.”

“It can not be argued that both of these beautiful, talented women with their pull-no-punches, take-no-prisoner attitudes have a knack for focusing in on basic flaws of other people, women especially,” a spokesperson for Bravo said. “And we thought they could use their skill in delivering constructive criticism to all the poor schlubs out there who need a good dose of reality so they don’t waste their time thinking they fit into a good-looking society.”

The show will begin filming next month, with a tentative launch date set for mid-December.

“Just imagine sitting down with the family at Christmas to watch a wholesome helping of reality where these ladies spew their thoughts on how ugly the people they encounter are,” a Bravo statement read. “We just hope we don’t have to blur out everybody we put on the show. You never know.”

“Britt and I are just really, really excited to help out the poor people out there who don’t know how hideous they are,” Mathers said on both her Twitter and Instagram accounts. “We are assuming that the losers we’ll be helping really appreciate what we are doing for them, unlike the a-holes (sic) at my gym.”

McHenry echoed her future co-host’s sentiment, posting on her Facebook page, “We’re on TV, huney (sic). We know what it takes and who has what it tkes (sic) to make it in the business. We’re natural choices to be in this show. We can’t wait!”

TDQ Investigates: The “Good Morning America” #TeaLizard Flap

#TeaLizard

#TeaLizard is obviously a Budweiser frog.

So the other morning, some nitwit with the password for ABC’s “Good Morning America’s” Twitter account embarrassed the show, the network and humanity in general by inexplicably calling famous and not-so-famous memes by the wrong name, including somehow using the #hashtags “#smockin and #TeaLizard and the internet understandably went nuts.

We get it, #GoodMorningAmerica, we do. Not everyone can be as up on their memes as we are here. And that frog does sort of look like the GEICO lizard thing. But even though he sounds British, that isn’t him drinking tea in the famous meme. It’s obviously one of the Budweiser frogs from the late 1990s “Bud-Wise-Er” ad campaign drinking tea. And that’s what makes the meme funny. Clearly.

Game of Thrones

A classic Game of Thrones meme.

Memes are tricky to stay on top of. Like the one with the dude from “Game of Thrones.” Not everybody knows that the original line is “One does not simply become the Hand of the King and solve his murder without getting beheaded in front of his daughter #SpoilerAlert.” But it was.

Or back in the early days of memes, when one of our favorites was making the rounds, the  #You’reTheManNowDog. Which of course, was a phrase uttered by Sean Connery to Goldfinger in the classic James Bond film, Dr. No. We love us some #JamesBond.

Dr No

The biggest question since the inception of this Dr. No meme is “who is the man, now?” Goldfinger or James Bond?!

Though, admittedly, we don’t know what the heck the GMA Twitter account guy was talking about when they hashtagged #smockin. Maybe it’s a really old guy trying to show how hip he is. Maybe he’s really a huge #JimCarrey fan. We will have to research the #MaskMeme.

Smockin'

Sometimes the image and text from classic memes can get mixed up. GMA surely meant to use this classic Smockin’ meme.

And as for not knowing that it was a dang frog drinking tea, maybe he’s a millennial who has no recollection of the Budweiser frogs and how the landscape of beer advertising was changed when they croaked their utterances.

Or maybe the internet is right and he’s just a massive tool.

But that’s none of our business.

You are now informed. Go and do likewise.

TDQ Tech For The Week Of 11/5/12

The GrinderyThis week’s TDQ Tech features a Grindery piece about the wonders of technology helping take some selfish idiot off the road. I’m sure if Steve Jobs hadn’t faked his own death last year, he would applaud his technology having a hand in helping bring to justice such lowlife driving scum. Fantastic work.

You are now technologically informed. Go and do likewise.

Dan Marino: “It’ll Be A Cold Day In Hell Before Peyton Manning Is A Dolphin”

Don't make Dan Marino angry about his legacy. You wouldn't like him angry about his legacy.

Miami—With the announcement yesterday that idiot Indianapolis Colts owner Jim “follow me on Twitter” Irsay was releasing the best thing that ever happened to Indianapolis, Peyton Manning, speculation started as to where the future Hall of Famer will play out the remainder of his career, with the Dolphins as the odds-on favorite.

But not everyone was thrilled that Manning might bring his talents to South Beach. Former Dolphin great and actual current Hall of Famer Dan “Laces Out” Marino told reporters he would do everything in his power to prevent Manning from joining the Dolphins.

“Look, don’t push me on this,” Marino said. “Do you know who I am? I’m a legend, a legend, in Miami. I am without question the greatest quarterback ever to take a snap in a Dolphin uniform, and that will change over my dead body. Did you write that down?” Continue reading

Kim Kardashian Tweets, Texts And Posts On Facebook That She Plans To Be More Private In 2012

Kim Kardashian

Is Kim Kardashian turning her back on the limelight? We sure hope so!

Los Angeles—Kim Kardashian called a press conference yesterday to formally announce her New Year’s Resolution for 2012: To lead a more private life. She also posted this resolution on her Twitter account, Facebook page and nearly-defunct Myspace account.

She said this newfound privacy will be showcased on her E! television program, and she hopes to prove to the American public just how private she’s being in weekly press conferences throuought the upcoming year.

“I really, really learned a hard lesson last year during my marriage to Reg- I mean, my husband,” Kardashian said. “And it is my sincere hope that you all will join me in my journey as I strive to be a more private person.”
Continue reading