SeaWorld wants the activists to know they have won. The message is clear. No more killer whale shows.
San Diego—SeaWorld, in a move to rebuild its brand and combat declining attendance, announced yesterday that it will phase out its traditional Shamu show in San Diego and replace it with a show that is less about tricks and more about traditional entertainment, just with big, funny-looking fish.
Next year will be the last for the theatrical performances involving hoops and throwing fish and coming in 2017 will be what SeaWorld Entertainment describes as an entirely new orca experience, designed to take place in a more natural setting with brick background walls, microphones and two drink minimums. The announcement, made during a presentation by senior SeaWorld executives, is part of a multi-faceted effort by the Orlando-based company to refocus the public’s attention on its “conservation efforts” while also growing revenues and stabilizing the business of exploiting giant ocean-going creatures. And also to get PETA and the other animal rights nuts off their backs.
The new show, which does not include killer whales, will be different from the circus fare of yesteryear. Instead false killer whales will be performing alternate stand up comedy routines with very frank and honest perspectives. But these whales also kill on stage! (But not like the killer whales.)
CEO “Billy” Joel Manby, who joined the company in March, was short on specifics as to what the new orca shows will entail. He did stress, however, with a straight face even, that the decision to appease the critics of the theme park was not conceived as a way to appease its critics.
In a bid to boost its sinking attendance, which plunged 17 percent last year, the company said it will bring a new, “very marketable” attraction that it is certain will make at least most of the jackass tourists who plunk down good money to watch what is essentially just a big aquarium happy for a few hours, and let them forget about their tiny little lives.
“The real whales, they get to retire and the ‘other, special’ whales, they get the attention they’ve so desperately been seeking for a long, long time,” Manby said. “It’s literally a win-win. Literally.”
