Monthly Archives: April 2013

Karlsfield Politician Changes His Tune On The Need For Traffic Cameras In City After His Mother-In-Law Gets Cited Half A Dozen Times For Traffic Infractions

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Karlsfield Red Light Camera

Dan Campbell’s mother-in-law insists that while it appears to be her car in the citations she was not the driver.

Karlsfield, VT—A prominent (according to his Facebook page) city councilman who led the charge in getting traffic cameras installed in this small northern Vermont town has now called for a vote to remove the cameras after his wife’s mother received her sixth ticket generated by the cameras in less than a year.

Dan Campbell told reporters after last night’s council meeting, “I’m not even going to stand here and dignify the allegations that anyone in my immediate or extended family or their driving habits have anything to do with my feelings on traffic cameras and the fact that they are bad for the great City of Karlsfield. I think we all know that photos can be doctored, can be cropped and photoshopped and what have you, and you can’t always believe what you see.”

But that argument is a complete 180-degree turnaround from his position just three years ago. He was quoted in 2010, when the camera debate first was brought to the City Council, as saying: “It stands to reason that the technological benefits far outweigh any upfront costs associated with installing these cameras, and nationwide studies have proven across the board that the revenue generated from the use of these cameras proving these traffic violations will more than pay for the costs of their installation. We would be foolish to pass up this opportunity. The technology that produce (sic) these photographs is state-of-the-art, and any scofflaw that would question the validity of any traffic citation they receive as a result of these cameras would be grasping at straws.” 
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Ben Affleck To Direct Film Based On “Miracle On The Hudson” Plane Incident

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Miracle on the Hudson

Miracle on the Hudson is fully expected to garner another Oscar for Affleck.

Los Angeles—Representatives for director/actor/Oscar snub Ben Affleck have confirmed that he will soon begin work on a movie about the airplane that landed safely in the Hudson River in January 2009. Affleck will direct the film and have a hand in the screenwriting.

“Like his last blockbuster project, ‘Argo,’ this destined-to-be-a-hit will be based on the incident, rather than an exact retelling of the heroic story,” said an Affleck spokesman. “For instance, in the real story, Captain Sully Sullenberger safely downed the plane after Canadian geese flew into the plane’s path and stalled the engines. In the movie, those birds will be Iranian geese who had an ulterior motive and were trying to kill a high-ranking government official on the plane. Plus, the real event only took like six minutes. Obviously, nobody wants to see a six-minute movie, so this will take a little longer. Sully will have to deal with British and New Zealand air traffic controllers who refuse to let him land the wounded aircraft, so he has no other choice but to ditch in the Hudson River. It’s very gripping.”
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Vader Found His Lack Of Faith Disturbing: Richard LeParmentier Dies At 66

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Richard LeParmentier

Richard LeParmentier, left, in an unreleased scene of RECOiL with that film’s writer/director Brian DiMaio, right. Unfortunately LeParmentier’s scenes were never completed. LeParmentier, who’s costume included a necktie, pleaded with DiMaio to be allowed to remove it or, otherwise, loosen it. DiMaio maintains that it was an honest wardrobe sizing mistake.

Austin, TX—Richard LeParmentier, best known for playing the foolish Admiral Motti and mouthing off to Darth Vader about the Force and nearly being Force-choked to death in “Star Wars,” died April 15. He was 66.

Born in Pittsburgh, LeParmentier lived and spent most of his career in England. From 1981-1984, he was married to “Superman” and “Superman II’s” Ursa herself, Sarah Douglas. It is unclear if her devotion to General Zod played a role in their divorce.

Besides appearing in “Star Wars” (all true fans of the Franchise know which “episode” we mean, so we will not insult Mr. LeParmentier’s memory by putting “Episode ___: Insert Insulting Subtitle Here”), he also appeared in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit,” “Superman II,” “RECOiL” and “Octopussy.”
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Hollywood Stars Sign Petition Calling For Immediate Release Of Reese Witherspoon

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Free Witherspoon

The “Free Witherspoon” movement has even attracted international supporters.

Atlanta—Academy Award-winning actress Reese “Do you know who I am?” Witherspoon was arrested last weekend and charged with disorderly conduct after her husband was pulled over and eventually arrested and charged with DUI.

And it didn’t take long for Hollywood to come out in support of the star. Scores of cinema luminaries including Woody Allen, David Lynch and Martin Scorsese signed a petition that called for Reese to be freed immediately.

Luc Besson, the director of “Léon,” however, refused to sign the Hollywood petition, saying that no one should be above the law. Continue reading →

“The Written Word Is The Greatest Thing In The World (Next To Disneyland):” A TDQ Q&A With Author Ray Ellingsen, Part 2

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Yoda just told Ray to choose between Disneyland and reading a good book. Tough call.

Yoda just told Ray to choose between Disneyland and reading a good book. Tough call.

TDQ: What made you want to be a writer? 

Ellingsen: I’m a voracious reader. While I’ve done a lot of other things in my life, job-wise, I’ve always come back to writing. The written word is the greatest thing in the world (next to Disneyland).

TDQ: What’s the best advice you’ve ever gotten? 

Ellingsen: “Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try” – Yoda (obviously, he didn’t give me that advice personally, but it was inspirational, nonetheless).

TDQ: What’s the worst advice you’ve ever gotten? 

Ellingsen: “If your writing thing doesn’t pan out in five years, consider another career” (I won’t say who gave me that advice, because they’re probably going to read this).

TDQ: Who are your influences? 

Ellingsen: Theodore Roosevelt is probably my biggest influence. He was a sickly, asthmatic child who nobody thought would amount to much. He went on to become a boxer, a cowboy, a noted explorer, a decorated soldier, a writer, a conservationist, the police commissioner of New York city, the 33rd Governor of New York state, and, of course, the 26th President of the United States. On a side note, the teddy bear got its name from him. Needless to say, he was a pretty busy guy, as well as incredibly inspirational.  Continue reading →