Monthly Archives: September 2012

Poll Finds Most Americans Didn’t Know The National Hockey League Ended 2004-2005 Work Stoppage, Let Alone Have Any Clue About This Recent One

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Hockey Lockout

Among the many benefits of a hockey lockout there is more ice available than ever before for figure skating.

New York—A recent poll co-conducted by The Daily Quarterly and USA Today found that most Americans were not aware the National Hockey League had entered its second work stoppage in a decade following a lock out of the players on September 16thafter the players union and the league failed to reach a consensus on a new collective bargaining agreement.

The poll also found that more than half of the sober respondents were unaware that the league’s prior work stoppage, which wiped out the entire 2004-2005 season, had ended, and hockey had since been played for more than six years with no interruptions,

“Yeah, yeah I know they’re on strike, or locked out or whatever. They’ve been on strike since, what, 2002 or something, right?” said New York Knicks fan and waste management advisor Frankie Ryland, 39. “I got friends who handle strikes for the right price. You want I should make a call?”
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TDQ Investigates: So Now Kristen Stewart Isn’t A Home Wrecker??

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Hayden Panettiere and the Three Stooges.

Despite all attempts it was impossible to make this picture of Hayden Panettiere and the Three Stooges seem like it wasn’t doctored.

Okay, so were we duped or not? Should I along with millions of other Twilight fans around the globe not have gotten so worked up over Kristen Stewart hooking up with her “Snow White and the Huntsman” director, who was married with children, thus breaking Rob’s heart along with mine and countless devotees of her and her films?

There’s a line of thinking in Hollywood that perhaps Stewart and the director orchestrated the entire scandal to boost the careers of the director and his (estranged?) wife, who is a model, as well as Rob’s latest movie.

Well, I have to admit I’m not that cynical. Perhaps it speaks ill of me that I can believe Stewart when she says how sorry she is for hurting her fans and for destroying the precious, special, beautiful relationship she had with Rob. I can see how the director could have been seduced by her pouting face and hidden-just-below-the-surface charm. I’m not saying I condone what they did, but I get it.
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Cry Me A Moon River; Andy Williams Has Died

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Andy Williams

RECOiL writer/director Brian DiMaio, right, insisted on singing with Andy Williams on an early draft of the RECOiL soundtrack. The music was later overdubbed with KLF tracks.

Branson, MO—Prolific singer-songwriter Andy Williams died Tuesday after a battle with bladder cancer. He was 84.

Williams began his career singing with his brothers in a quartet as a child, but found fame as a solo act in the 1950s. He became associated with the song “Moon River” after performing it at the 1962 Academy Awards. He would name his theater in Branson the Moon River Theater, and spent the last 20 years of his life performing there.

During his long career, he recorded 17 Gold records, three of which also went Platinum. He also is credited/blamed for discovering “The Osmonds” after they appeared on his variety TV show, “The Andy Williams Show.”
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Idiot Attention-Seeker Likens Great Pacific Garbage Patch To “Mythical Loch Ness Monster”

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The Great Pacific Garbage Patch

Don’t let the name fool you. There is nothing “great” about patches of garbage in the Pacific.

Kansas City, MO—Seeing that he hasn’t gotten his name in the press all that much as of late, former Deeder leader Phineas Downey called a news conference to announce he has undertaken a new controversial stance, this time alleging that the well-known Great Pacific Ocean garbage patch is “almost certainly made up, and even if it does exist, there’s no way it’s nearly as large as the extreme, alarmist environmental-types are saying it is.”

Downey said that any photographic evidence he’s ever seen of what scientists “allege is this horrible patch seems awful, awful doctored to me. It’s just like a grainy picture of Bigfoot or the mythical Loch Ness Monster as far as I’m concerned.”

Downey said he’s flown to Hawaii and Fiji plenty of times in the past, and has yet to notice any large, Texas-sized collection of garbage, despite looking nearly every single time he gets a window seat.
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TDQ Investigates: Another Would-Be Journalist Caught Making Bad Decisions Hurts The Profession

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As a former journalism student myself, it saddens me to read about an intern in Arizona plagiarizing stories while working at The East Valley Tribune. I’m especially sad as this student goes/went to my old pal Jason Manning’s school.

Don’t worry, though. TDQ readers can be sertain that each and ever artikle is fakt-cheked, red and re—red to mak sure it meats our highist righting standards.

Copy Paste

Most will criticize Raquel Velasco but there could be a simple explanation.


But it’s clear that things are changing in the profession, with both student journalists and professionals getting caught for questionable or blatant disregard for journalistic ethics.

Established, well-regarded journalists now seem to be exposed for out-and out-lying, plagiarizing or sloppy editing just about every week. Is this the new norm? To some people, it sure seems that way.
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