Monthly Archives: June 2011

Divorced Man With Anger Management Problem Invents Indestructible Phone

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The Indestructible Phone

The Indestructible Phone's creator says many of the parts are sourced from a manufacturer that provides components for the aviation industry.

Bangor, ME—Former insurance-adjuster-turned-inventor Brent Davis said he’s broken plenty of phones in his time. “In my 16 years in insurance at seven different companies, I broke 24 work phones. All sorts of phones,” he said from his Bangor garage. “Cordless phones, cell phones, land-line phones. The old rotary phones, back when I first got out of college and began dealing with idiots. Now the receivers on those rotary phones, they could do some damage. Good times…”

Davis said his experience with “poorly-crafted” phones led him to develop an indestructible phone perfect for the business environment.
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TDQ Investigates: New Washington Nationals Baseball Team Manager Thinking Outside The “Batter’s” Box

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Washington Nationals Innovations

Washington Nationals trying out other innovations like extra bases, dual pitchers, and left and right field coaches.

So it looks like there’s a professional baseball team in our nation’s capital. The Washington Nationals have been playing there since 2005, when the team “relocated” (Professional teams can do this? Really? Bizarre.) from Montreal, where they were called the Expos, whatever the heck an “expo” is.

Don’t worry Canadians who like American baseball. It’s come to our attention that there is a second baseball team north of the border, a team called the Toronto Blue Jays. Fascinating.
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“Dora The Explorer” Co-Star Arrested For Drug Smuggling

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Boots the Monkey

Reality sets in for Boots the Monkey.

San Diego—It appears Boots the Monkey is doing double duty as a mule, also. The co-star and affable sidekick to Dora in the hit Nickelodeon children’s TV show “Dora the Explorer” was arrested early Sunday morning after cocaine was found in the backpack he was carrying at the San Diego airport.

According to the arrest report, the blue simian told customs officers that the purple backpack he was carrying wasn’t his, but wouldn’t elaborate on the owner. He said he thought the only thing in the backpack was a talking map and assorted travel-sized toiletries.
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Now That Heat Have Lost The NBA Finals, Chris Bosh Can Concentrate 100% On Lawsuit Over Facebook Page Comparing Him To “Monsters, Inc.” Character

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Chris Bosh

The Facebook fan page in question. The resemblance is uncanny.

Miami—Miami Heat “player” Chris Bosh might not have earned himself a championship ring, trophy, respect or anything else earlier this month, but he can take solace in knowing that losing the NBA Finals in six games gives him the opportunity to commit full-time to his pending lawsuit against the creator of a Facebook fan page comparing Bosh to “Randall” from the Disney-Pixar film, “Monsters, Inc.”

Lawyers for Bosh issued a statement regarding the lawsuit saying, “While Mr. Bosh certainly would have enjoyed winning his basketball matches and celebrating in Miami with his colleagues and hoisting the NBA Cup, he does find a measure of comfort in being able to concentrate completely in putting a stop to this childish, scandalous page on the social networking site known as ‘Facebook.’” Continue reading →

Roger Ebert Tweets His Disapproval Of Marriage Between Actor And Would-Be Country Singer

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Ebert-Hutchison-Stodden

Only one of these celebs has publicly admitted to having plastic surgery performed. Surprisingly it's cancer survivor Ebert whose treatment required the partial removal of his jaw bone. Hutchison's face is more taught now than it was years earlier. Stodden appears to have been 16 at least once before and may have parts as young as 16.

Chicago—World famous movie critic Roger Ebert has once again taken to Twitter to communicate his opinion on the behavior and actions of other Hollywood celebrities, this time tweeting his thoughts on 51 year-old actor Doug Hutchison and his marriage to 16 year-old aspiring country music singer Courtney Stodden.

On Monday, Ebert tweeted about the marriage saying, “Mommas, don’t let your babies grow up to marry D-list actors at 16.”

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